Thursday, 4 September 2014

Murderious Intentions and Killer Penguins.

'Mr Bent?'

'Yus?'

'Mr Moodureos Bent?'

'Yus? What you want?'

'A word or two if you don't mind, I'm Inspector Watt, funny name, eh?'

'What?'

'No, not mine, yours.'

'Oh. Well my folks had a funny sense of humour.'

'Before they were found battered to death I suppose.'

'Listen, I were acquitted, I 'ad nuffing to do with it. Loved them I did.'

'Of course. Now, about the tragic death of Mr Flipper. Knew him well did you?'

'Sort of. Did some work at their house like. Laying the patio and stuff.'

'No other sort of laying involved then?'

'Wot you gettin' at?'

'You seem to be very close to Mrs Flipper…'

'Fuck off! She were upset. Stands to reason she would need a shoulder to cry on. I 'appened to be there.'

'Very fortunate.'

'Look, she's a fine woman, he were cruel to her. He was nuts, too. Did you know he wore a penguin suit when they 
watched that bloody 'Appy Feet' DVD movie? Made her wear one, too. Crackers, he was. Nuts over stupid penguins, that man.'

'Not really a reason to kill him, though, huh?'

'Look, I didn't kill 'im, those bleedin' penguins did! Just like I told the press and you lot at the time, those penguins kicked him to death I tell you. I told 'im too! I told 'im they were bloody dangerous. Just laughed at me he did. But I saw them. How they would crowd round him when he went in the zoo pen. Saw their beady hate-filled eyes I did. I knew. But did he listen? No! Fucking killer penguins they are.'

'Yes, so you say. Funny no one else has been attacked.'

'That's 'cause they were waiting, waiting their chance, see. Get 'im alone. Little cute bastards.'

'I'll tell you who the real bastard is, Mr Bent. It's you.You were having an affair with his wife and you decided to get rid of him, didn't you? You don't really think this stupid story will save you, do you? '

'It's the truth, I tell you!'

'Tell it to the judge, Bent. You're nicked. Killer penguins my arse.'

Watt turned as a door of the room was burst open by a breathless young policewoman.

'Inspector!'

'What!'

'Sorry, Inspector Watt!'

'No, what do you want?'

'Oh, right. It's the zoo, Sir… there's been another… murder. Caught on CCTV. Another zoo keeper. Killed in the penguin pen…'

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